Please distract
me.
Do anything,
To keep my thoughts
here
Away from the awful
places
They seem to love to
go
Please distract me,
Make me feel
something
Something other than
nothing,
Something that may
be real
Permit me to breathe
again
Distract my gaze
From demons that
dance
Around my mind,
emblazed
Please distract me,
I've forgotten
already
Again to inhale
I'm a prisoner bound
to these chains
I don't know how to
break
That always come
back.
I want to jump.
I want to jump.
I want to jump.
Leap from the top of
a tall enough building
Somewhere downtown.
I want to jump
I want to jump
I want to jump
Headfirst into a new
life,
One where I didn't
go to college,
All I do is write,
And I started making
my way with it
With opportunities
long ago,
Not telling myself
not to do what I
Had always intended
desired and been
More than apt to
do.
A life where I'm not
almost thirty,
Homeless,
friendless, family-less,
Where I didn't
become dependent on
Coffee at 11,
Booze at 12,
Cigarettes at 13 and
Weed at 14.
A life where I've
got a wife
One that I deeply
love,
A wife that
reciprocates that back.
Where we have a home
with a lovely garden
That I tend to,
With a baby on the
way,
Not too much money,
But enough for a
happy little home.
With a golden
retriever named Sammy,
A big back yard for
running.
A life where I'm not
crazy,
A life where bridges
and parking garages
Don't lure me into
their lairs,
A life where I don't
whisper
Bits of angry
insanity just above
Beneath my breath,
Where
self-annihilation
Doesn't guide my
every move.
A life that doesn't
make me
Question why I'm
doing it every day,
Where I can see past
today.
Where I'm not just a
victim stuck in
The confines of
time.
One where I don't
feel like such a
Waste of space and
time
A life in which I
haven't ruined my lungs
At the age of
thirty.
I want to jump
I want to jump
I want to jump.