I throw it away

I can't keep it anymore

This life, this who I've become

This cold survival

This weak terrified child

Behind this false bravado

Poker face is getting harder to hold

Stature crumbling

Here I come, crashing down.  

Relax my mind

Begin to feel at ease

At ease.

For the first time

In years

Feel at ease

Relaxing the jaw

I've kept clenched

Letting go of the tension

That been residing

In my neck and shoulders

Lazy without rent

Freeloading

Bearing me down

Ceasing to strive

Beginning to flow

Breathing in deep

Chest rises

Then falls

Rising from the dirt

Like a seedling

Bursting forth

Following the light

Transforming who I am

Breaking bad behaviors

Behaviors that became moods

Moods formed from thoughts

Thoughts that formed in jaded response

To bad behaviors

Breaking a cycle

That's gone for so long

Reworking these thoughts

Restructuring these actions

To change my moods

I feel her pain
It's in her tone
The tenseness
Of her body
Anger soaking
Her every word
I want to take her
In my arms
I want to hold her
Until every drop
Falls out
Until she sheds
Every tear
That's been filling her heart
For too many years
Soak them up with a sponge
I want to love her
Until she can love herself
So I open my heart
Focus my love and
I send it over the airwaves
A direct shot into her
Collapsing veins
I want to watch her bloom
Into the most vibrant
Flower the gardener
Has ever seen.

I'm Her Favorite Pair of Jeans

It's hard,
I won't lie
When you
Grind my face
Against the
Pavement.
But, wear me in
Break me down
Rip me apart
Get me dirty
And then
You'll have me.
Worn in.
Soft and pliable
I already know
Your moves.

My mind awakens 

My body shakes

Feel me tremble 

Beneath you

Come close to me 

Smell my skin

Take in my scent 

Be drunk with lust

Breathe hot against my neck 

A ravaging sensation

Every sound achingly 

Leaving your mouth

Voice, stampeding through every nerve in my spine 

Make me arch back 

Two burning lips Touch right between my breasts 

I need you closer  

Pull you tight

Feeling you strong 

Feeling you weak  

Truth isn't convenient

It's not pretty

It's ugly and hard on the eyes

So much easier living a lie

Better hiding behind a mask

Not showing your face

So you can be what you perceive

Yourself to be

Without those concerns of

What you are

You'd rather weave a story

Than walk to find what's laid behind

And what will be.

Construct yourself in fantasy

Rely on fiction

Lies become your addiction.