Please distract me. 

Do anything,

To keep my thoughts here

Away from the awful places

They seem to love to go

Please distract me,

Make me feel something

Something other than nothing,

Something that may be real

Permit me to breathe again

Distract my gaze

From demons that dance

Around my mind, emblazed

Please distract me,

I've forgotten already

Again to inhale

I'm a prisoner bound to these chains

I don't know how to break

That always come back.

I want to jump. 

I want to jump.

I want to jump.

Leap from the top of a tall enough building

Somewhere downtown.

I want to jump

I want to jump 

I want to jump

Headfirst into a new life,

One where I didn't go to college,

All I do is write,

And I started making my way with it

With opportunities long ago,

Not telling myself not to do what I

Had always intended desired and been

More than apt to do. 

A life where I'm not almost thirty,

Homeless, friendless, family-less,

Where I didn't become dependent on

Coffee at 11,

Booze at 12,

Cigarettes at 13 and

Weed at 14. 

A life where I've got a wife

One that I deeply love,

A wife that reciprocates that back.

Where we have a home with a lovely garden

That I tend to,

With a baby on the way,

Not too much money,

But enough for a happy little home.

With a golden retriever named Sammy,

A big back yard for running.

A life where I'm not crazy,

A life where bridges and parking garages

Don't lure me into their lairs,

A life where I don't whisper

Bits of angry insanity just above

Beneath my breath,

Where self-annihilation

Doesn't guide my every move.

A life that doesn't make me

Question why I'm doing it every day,

Where I can see past today.

Where I'm not just a victim stuck in

The confines of time. 

One where I don't feel like such a

Waste of space and time

A life in which I haven't ruined my lungs

At the age of thirty. 

I want to jump

I want to jump

I want to jump.