Once upon a time,

When I was big and fat

With double chins

And an inner tube around my waist

Boys wouldn't glance my way,

Or see me as a human being

And if they did,

I knew it was just friendship

And it is funny now to see

How they all stare and gawk at me

Because my chubby figure

Has disappeared

And left in trail,

A curvy hourglass,

At which they love to stare.

Conversations are initiated,

By men who once would look through,

And I know it's not depth but shallowness

They are excited to pursue,

For they care not for my life's adventure,

They care not for my formulated

Ever-changing opinion,

They especially care not about the fact that

I much prefer girls in bed,

And always try to weasel their

Pathetic little penises into a

Three way situation,

To which I roll my eyes

And walk away.

As if two girls alone together

Felt any sort of lacking

That could only be fulfilled by

The male of the species. 

Sad, sad, excuses for human beings.